Reflecting on the year, I can see your hand.
I see you in the morning
Regardless of my mood.
Truely, hyperbole and hypocricy have ruled me all to often this year.

It's time for this to stop.
I don't care where I lost my footing, but the cycle needs to end. I don't want to be a pretender, a liar, a theif, someone living only for your blessings, someone content to watch the fields be plowed and sewed and watered when I could be doing these things.

When you've commanded me to move, and yet I stay still, you can't be in me.

I'm tired of being able to lie to myself for selfish gain. Forgive me for taking your name in vain.

Create within me a clean heart
Search me, My God, and know my thoughts.
See if there is anyway I can please you!
Work in me, despite myself, and help my doubting mind.

Turn me inside out so I can turn this world upside down.

Let me never fail to wear my heart on my sleeve, even if that means it'll get dirty, cut up, brusied, torn, and trampled on.

Kill me. Your Son will provide me with my life.

Take my place on the throne, and I'll take your place on the altar.

May my ashes become a sweet perfume and my blood a fit enough drink for you, my God, my Everything, and my Obsession. Amen.


-----------------




I wrote a four word letter, with post-script, in crooked lines, "tho I'd lived I'd never been alive."
You know who I am
you held my hem as I traveled blind listening to the whispering in my ear,
soft but getting stronger, telling me the only purpose of
my being here is to stay a bit longer.
stealing a bicycle chain, as the handlebars crashed to the ground,
the back wheel detached from the frame,
it kept rolling, yea, but aimlessly drifting around
Oh, doubters, let's go down, let's go down
won't you come on down, oh doubters, let's go down , down to the river to pray?
"But I'm so small I can barely be seen
How can this great love be inside of me?"
Look at your eyes - they're small in size, but they see enormous things.
Wearing black canvas slippers in our frog-on-a-lily-pad pose we sewed
buttons and zippers to chinese pink silk and olive night clothes
if you can someday stop by
somehow we'll show you the pictures and fix you some tea
(see, my dad's getting a bit older now, and just unimaginably lonelier)
oh, pretenders, let's go down, let's go down
won't you come on down, oh pretenders, lets go down, down to the river and pray?
"But I'm so afraid," or "I'm set in my ways"
but he'll make the rabbits and rocks sing his praise
"oh, but I'm so tired, I won't last long."
No, he’ll use the weak to overcome the strong!
Oh, Amanda, let's go down, let's go down, wont you come on down
Mama, Nana, lets go down, down in the dirt, or the river to pray
you strike the match
Why not be utterly changed to fire?
To sacrifice the shadow and the mist of a brief life you never much liked
So if you'd care to come along we're gonna curb all our never-ending,
clever complaining (as who's ever heard of a singer criticized by his song?)
We hunger,
but through all that we eat brings us little relief
we don't know quite what else to do, we have all our beliefs,
but we don't want our beliefs,
God of peace, we want You.


>"Untitled" by Stefan / Four Word Letter (Part Two) by mewithoutYou