Lord, I'm so sick of feeling incapable and inadequate. I'm tired of my stupidity and of my laziness. I don't hold anybody else responsible and even though I've started trying, it's not enough. I hate letting everyone down. You, my parents, and Megan. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope again. Lord, will you come be with me? I can make it through this, right? I'm sure everyone is angry and dissapointed. . .I know you're dissapointed.

Lord, help me get on track. I've laid out a schedule and I want so desperately to be able to follow it. Just a simple daily routine that should be anything but: but I need strength to follow it. You've always managed to catch me just before I hit the ground. I still remember the way you thrust your way into my life in such an undeniable way.

Renew my passions and confirm me. Be my defender and my strength. I don't want to let everybody down again. Please forgive me for letting you down, Father.