So, today was Hawaiian shirt day. ^_^

Seriously, it was like 75 out today and things couldn't have been better. But, there was still some drama. For one, I forgot scantrons again today in theatre class, but it was okay because Adam hooked me up with one. I think I made a B or C on it, but I think I could have done better. Also, I've got to work hard with Spanish tomarrow. Everybody else has had two more class periods of work than I've had. . . so they probably know the past tense much more than I do. No matter how hard I try, it just doesn't click with me until I hear it from a teacher first.

Spiritually, I think I'm working against some attacks. It's really hard to control my passion when I'm around Megan. ^_^; Granted, it's not a bad feeling. . .but I know that everything needs to wait until we make everything offical; I want to make that night the best night of both our lives. Honestly, I wish I could get married to her now. She's such a beautiful person and she listens to me whine and encourages me when I need it; she's also not afraid to speak her mind to me when she feels the need to and I respect that. . . after all there's no such thing as too much communication. Also, I know she can help me alot with my ministry; she's more straightforward than I am when it comes to research. In that sence, we're very different but we'll be able to help each other alot. She'll motivate me and help me in my research, and I'll motivate her to be more outgoing and be there to embolden and support her in her work. I can't wait to see where we are in 10 years. . . or 20.

But. . .

I need to be reminded that I've got to get through this first. >_<; It's really, really hard for me to focus on the here and now. . .but that's something she helps me with too. I hate having to force myself to work on such little things. Time is very much my enemy. I'll push certain things to the front of my list that aren't pressing and put off pressing things until the last minute. I work well under pressure, but I think today is the day that I stop this nonsence. I've gotten alot better about homework and such this semester, but I've got upper level work comming. Something within me wants me to give up, but I can't listen to that. I've listened to it too many times before and I'm sick of being where it gets me: at the bottom, begging for sympathy.

So, I'm happy and I think I'm going to simply let myself be happy. I still think I need to take it easy, but maybe not as easy as easy can be. After all, I'm called to a higher standard. Living it isn't so hard when I don't have to do any of the work. I've just got to let the Holy Spirit work like he used to because I've been in this funk for way too long - since my senior year of high school in fact. . . and I feel like the air and the warm sunshine has finally cleared my senses. ^_^

I thank God for you, Megan, because you beleive in me even when I don't beleive in myself. Thank you! You brighten my day even when I'm lonely. ^_^